ICEFLOE & I

icefloe-deanWhen the tattered manuscript for ROMANCE FOR MEN: PANDORA’S BOX turned up on my doorstep, stained in blood (from a moose, it turned out) and smelling strongly of urine (also moose), I immediately dropped it in the trash… but something on the cover caught my eye.

It said: No emotions. Not too many words. 100% guaranteed.

I remember staring at that for a long time. How was “no emotions” a selling point? And how could a book be “100% guaranteed”? By who? For what? I plucked it out, started reading, and a few things became clear.

It was easily the filthiest thing I’d ever read. And the character of Icefloe was a horror: racist, homophobic, sexist, misogynistic… I know I’m missing a few.

But, I also thought it was darkly funny. [Read more...]

MAJOR PAYNE behind-the-scenes: Part 2

Behind-the-scenes of Major Payne Part 2

If you haven’t read “Part 1: Meeting Damon Wayans” you can find it here.

Writing Major Payne

Before Damon and I start writing MAJOR PAYNE, we decide we need to do some research at the Camp Pendleton marine base just outside San Diego. The marines are very accommodating (they’re Damon fans) and they invite us to come down and watch some basic training with a squad of new recruits.

We drive through a gate guarded by marines with automatic weapons and we both realize, “this is serious.” We’re shocked when we meet the recruits, because they seem so young. They’re bald and covered in pimples. [Read more...]

MAJOR PAYNE behind-the-scenes: Part 1

Behind-the-scenes of Major Payne Part 1 Meeting Damon Wayans

Meeting Damon Wayans

I first meet Damon Wayans in his cold, dark office on the Sony lot while he clips his toenails in silence. He does not seem pleased to see me. I’m very uncomfortable and I think: how did I end up here?

Months earlier, a Universal executive by the name of Barry Isaacson hires me to do a rewrite of a Charlton Heston movie from the fifties called THE PRIVATE WAR OF MAJOR BENSON. It’s a comedy about a tough major in the military who finds himself in charge of a group of kids. We talk about who could play Major Benson and think we’ve come up with the perfect person:

Clint Eastwood. [Read more...]